Sellers Gang Mama

Confessions of a Happily Married Mother of Twins Trying to Keep a Sense of Self & Sanity One Day at a Time

A Big Ol’ (FAKE) Love Fest January 20, 2010

Filed under: everyday life — Heather Sellers @ 3:03 pm
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Does anybody else watch the Bachelor?

I have not watched that ridiculous show since the first season and for some crazy reason I have watched it this season. I seriously think this stuff is insanity. They are calling this season Wings of Love. Are you people serious? He’s a pilot so you went for wings of love? Wow ABC, you really stretched your creative muscles there. Maybe you should have had Vienna come up with the title, it could have been “Floating on Cloud Jake.” (Insert vomiting here because yes she did actually say on national television that she was floating on cloud Jake. It’s totally fine if you need to go throw up and then come back and read the rest of this, I won’t be offended.)

Ok so here are my comments thus far:

1. You are not going to find love in the fake love fest world of The Bachelor. It’s just not gonna happen. Seriously. It’s like being at Disney Land and saying you’re in love with  Mickey Mouse. Well heck yes it’s all about Mickey while you are at DL, but don’t you think when you get home to the real world you are going to be like “umm, thanks for the good times Mick but I’m over it”? Yeah, you are, admit it.

2. Vienna-you make me want to gag myself with a spoon. I read spoilers that Jake picks you. Eww. You make my skin crawl, for real.

3. Jake did you really cry when you went bungee jumping? Really? You’re a pilot that’s afraid of heights? And you are glad that you could overcome this fear of heights with Vienna as a couple? Umm, newsflash pretty boy, your not a couple, your still dating like 12 other women. Also, first kiss upside down on the bungee cord-cue more vomiting at Heather’s house.

4. Ali- I love you! You are amazing. Thanks for not sitting their playing nice with that stupid Vienna when she fake apologized. Way to keep it real, well as real as one can on a reality show at least.

5. Chris Harrison is skeezy. The inappropriate relationship scandal was total nonsense and that dude was totally the center of that circus with his serious face and stern voice. Hey Chris, you host the Bachelor? Your whole job is to come out and say that this is the final rose of the night. Get over yourself.

6. Why does CH have to come out and tell us it’s the final rose. I can count and I can see. There is one rose left on the tray and my deductive reasoning tells me there are no more roses. Anybody else confused and super thankful that Chris tells us that?

7. Elizabeth-I really want to smack you appreciate that you make my daughter’s name look bad. Jake is right, you are a complete tease.

8. Lastly, Michelle. Oh Michelle, you’re bananas in pajamas. You are totally off your tiny 100 pound rocker sweetie.

Anyone else have comments on this nonsense? Anyone? Please? It makes me feel less lame if other people watch the stupid things that I watch. Come on ladies, help me out.

Edited to add: There are some women (or a woman) at my office who MOCK me for watching this and decided to tell me that I need to get a life. Obviously my life is not revolving around these lame reality shows. Why do some feel the need to be rude?

 

Exhausted January 12, 2010

Filed under: everyday life,motherhood — Heather Sellers @ 2:27 pm
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I have been up since 3:00am and I am seriously dragging people.

Jaxson was having no part of sleeping after 3:00am and decided that neither was Mama. Even when I put him in bed with me to snuggle, which he usually loves and makes him go right to sleep, no way, he was having no part of it. I thought maybe his tooth hurt so I gave him Tylenol (he is on his third tooth! Can you believe that?) That didn’t work so I gave him a half bottle (I never give them a whole bottle in the middle of the night, I don’t want to start that dependency again). That didn’t work so I just sat on the bed and held him. He would be ok for about 5 minutes and then we would have to move, then he would be ok, then we would have to move, lather, rinse, repeat.

I watched as 5:00am passed and he would still not go back to sleep, and my plans of getting up early and getting on the treadmill flew out the window. I watched as 5:30am passed and he was now only content to be held in a standing position. I don’t know about other mothers out there, but when you are tired and your child is being stubborn and fussy and in my case, screaming in the middle of the night, and then you stand them up and they start doing their cute little half smile and tiny giggle-that stuff is not cute! I wish I could say that because he smiled it melted my heart and I was glad to be spending this time alone in the semi-dark with him while he looks so content, but that would be a lie. The smile only lasted a few moments and then he was upset again. And even if it had lasted it wouldn’t have helped me any, I needed more sleep.

I lost 2 hours of sleep and 45 minutes of treadmill action this morning and I gotta tell you I was aggrevated. The minute the clock hit 6:00am I made 2 bottles and proceeded to tell Jesse the babies were going to eat and I was going to take a shower. *Please note- my husband could sleep through a tornado followed by a training crashing through bathroom wall, running through our room and out the wall on the other side NEXT TO HIS HEAD! So it’s not like I made him get up an hour early to feed them while I took a shower.* I turned my nightstand light on, propped pillows under the bottles and when I came out of my 30 minute shower I found Jaxson and Elizabeth happily drinking their bottles and Jesse ASLEEP. He slept through 3 hours of crying and 30 minutes with the light on, how does he do that??

Don’t let those big eyes fool you, he can be a little stinkerpants! Lucky for him I love him so much I only stay aggravated for a few minutes.

 

La Fin: What is worse? Child birth or a kidney stone? January 7, 2010

Filed under: everyday life,Uncategorized — Heather Sellers @ 12:30 pm
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The reason that the good times did not start rolling again on Wednesday, is because my stint decide it wanted to come out on its own. ON ITS OWN people! The doctor told me to go ahead and take it out myself and go to the ER if I began to bleed excessively.

What do they mean by excessively? Like bleeding enough that it can soak through a napkin or bleeding so that it’s squirting out at people? I hate that term “excessively”. It’s so subjective. I need a chart defining when I need to go back to the ER, ok medical personnel? Help me out here.

So for the next 5 days I felt like I had a whole new kidney stone due to the swelling caused by the stint that supposedly fixed the problem. Why is it ladies and gentleman that medical procedures that are supposed to eliminate your pain cause you increased or at least continued pain? Let’s work on that as well medical personnel, feel free to get back to me with ideas and I will let you know what I think of them.

Thank goodness for my mom and sister, they came over and took care of my precious babies for me. so that I could take hot baths, lay on the couch with a heating pad on my back and my stomach and take ibuprofen (to help with the swelling, not just for grins) around the clock.

So the moral of the story is this: Drink more water!

 

Part Trois: What is worse? Child birth or a kidney stone? January 6, 2010

Filed under: everyday life — Heather Sellers @ 12:30 pm
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Are you aware that a LOT of people have surgery the last week of the year so they don’t have to do it once their deductible starts over? I was aware of this in a way (since I did work for a surgeon) but I had no idea how many people did this. When you work for one doctor and that doctor does a few extra surgeries it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but when everyone is doing a couple of extras that stuff adds up. This is very important for you to understand since my surgery was in fact on December 29th which is in the last week of the year. So my surgery is scheduled at 11:30am and it started pretty close to on time and they left Jess, Mom and Hannah stay with me right up until they rolled my bed into the OR  so I am feeling good about things at that point.

Good feelings end right there and do not return until pretty much yesterday. Yesterday was the FOURTH people. That is 6 days post op and I hated life from basically the moment I woke up from my surgery until then. I am serious, ask my mom and Hannah, it was ugly.

The recovery nurse was the worst nurse I have ever come in contact with in my life. I told her I needed to go to the bathroom and she just gave me a bed pan, to which I said “I can’t go in this, but I really think I need to go.” She told me that I probably didn’t need to actually go, it just felt like it because the surgery makes you feel like you have a urinary tract infection. Really? Interesting-because my doctor didn’t mention anything about that. Then she proceeded to tell me that I could not go home from recovery because they were too busy and too full to release me. WHAT? You are too full to left me leave? I still don’t think she understood why that was stupid. I didn’t want to stay the night in recovery, I wanted her to fill out my release paperwork.

So evil recovery nurse takes me back upstairs to the room I stayed the night in. Where she proceeds to get into a really ridiculous and heated argument in my room in front of me and my family with the nurse on the 4th floor about who’s job it is to take care of me. Can you feel the love?

I asked the 4th floor nurse, Marilyn, if I could go to the bathroom and once again I was told no because she was too busy to go with me. When I asked if my mom could just go with me (even though I had already told her I didn’t need an escort) she said that was against the rules. You guys do not understand how badly I needed to go at this point AND the doctor had told me that the only way I could go home was the go to the bathroom on my own, which I was desperately trying to do.

After 30 minutes she finally came back and let me go to the bathroom but would not give me anything for pain because no one had sent her orders to do so.

So at this point I am getting more and more upset because my pain level is going up and up since HI!  I JUST HAD SURGERY! and my mom was getting more and more angry. She handled it really, really well and they finally got me something for the pain after 2 hours of waiting and a few times of me crying and saying something like”Mom, just have them give me the morphine back! I promise I will push the button every time the little light turns green! Please Mom! Ok fine, just cut my kidney out then!”

I finally got to go home at a quarter to 5:00pm. Ridiculous. Hospital-expect a complaint for this girl. Thanks in advance!

 

Part Deux: What is worse? Child birth or a kidney stone? January 5, 2010

Filed under: everyday life — Heather Sellers @ 2:58 pm
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In the midst of the pain and serious anxiety that went with this whole kidney experience there were a few bright moments. All of which happen whilst (don’t you love the word whilst? I sure do!) on morphine.

They gave me a morphine pump, ya’ll.  They made it so I pushed this little green button and it just put the morphine right into my IV, no buzzing a nurse who takes 30 minutes to come to you, just a straight shot. Holy Cow Batman! For a woman who had been in horrific pain on and off for a month I was delighted! But I also am not a huge fan of the loopy drug feeling morphine provides before you fall asleep so I didn’t use it crazy or anything, don’t get worried about me.

However, the few times I did use it, hilarity ensued! Mom and Hannah came up to see me and give me some company while Jess had to work a wedding that night and I think I made my mom turn red approximately 100 times in the short hour they were there.

Now, you see, I am modest, conservative, watch my language (usually!) and rarely inappropriate. But I had the little green button and narcotics coursing through my veins makes me act nuts. Somehow we ended up discussing things that were way to grown up for my 15-year-old baby sister to hear and that I normally would never talk about in front of her, or anyone for that matter and I crazily told my mom “Better she hear it from us then those punk kids at school.” Oh goodness, ya’ll, I thought my mama was gonna lose it.

 

What is worse? Child birth or a kidney stone? January 3, 2010

Filed under: everyday life — Heather Sellers @ 12:53 pm
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Alright people, do I have a story for you. Hold on to your hats.

About a month ago, November 29th to be exact, at 6:00am when I tried to go back to sleep after feeding Jaxson and Elizabeth a pain hit me in the left side of stomach and my  back. For 3 hours I tried to deal with it, while my poor little sister tried to figure out what the heck was wrong with me. Finally, I called my mom and hysterically asked her to come and watch the babies for me so I could go to the ER.

My dad met me at the hospital and they ran a CT scan which confirmed what I already knew. I had a 3 mm kidney stone. The good news was that it had already worked its way into my bladder and should be out quickly. Armed with a prescription for pain meds and anti-nausea meds I went home to rest and pass that sucker. The next day I started feeling better mid afternoon so I went back to work the next day and moved on.

The next week I was sitting on the floor of my friend Margaret’s cube crying because the pain was back. I went home took my pain meds and anti-nausea pills and slept the whole day, surely it was gone now.

WRONG-O!!

Monday morning, I woke up at 3:00am right back in that excruciating pain. I thought ‘seriously? Who gets 2 kidney stones in the same month? Last time it was 4 years between!’ I tried to take a pain pill and lay on the couch thinking it would pass. But alas, again I was on my way to the ER. Thank goodness for my mother who drove me since I puked in my front yard and had to hold a trash bag the whole way to the hospital, driving was so not an option.

Would you believe it was the same stone? The same stone (actually was 4mm and not 3) had been plaguing me for a month now. Me, a girl who hates pain meds had taken more in that month then the month I had my c-section. What is wrong with that picture? I can handle 10 pounds and approximately 27 inches of baby, but not a 4mm stone? Surely not!

The urologist said due to this evil devil stones location there was no way to blast it out with sound waves, so surgery was my only option and his preference would be that I stay the night in the hospital to control the pain.  Thank you Jesus for morphine! My pain was under control and I was going to be able to sleep until my surgery, all is well, right?

to be continued…

 

Awkward Moments are Some of the Best December 22, 2009

Filed under: everyday life,marriage — Heather Sellers @ 1:29 pm
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Last night as Jesse and I were settling down to go to sleep he rolled over and put his arm around me. Doesn’t everybody love to spoon? I usually do. But last night was different. Jess has these little hairs on his stomach and somehow they were penetrating  my shirt and STABBING me in the back. I couldn’t stand it!

He ended up rolling back over to set an alarm or something, I don’t know and I thought I had escaped the particularly awkward moment of saying “Honey, I can’t snuggle because your stomach has grown spikes and is stabbing me!” But I was wrong. Not 5 minutes later he rolled back and I just blurted it out, total word vomit!

Me: “OMGeez your stomach hair is stabbing me and it hurts!”

Jesse: “What are you talking about?!?”

Me: ” I can FEEL the hair on your stomach stabbing me the back! Move! Move! Move! I don’t like it!”

Jesse: “Hahahahaha!” *snuggles closer*

Me: *shoves blank between us*

Jesse: “Stop putting a blanket between us!”

Me: “No, you’re hurting me. I don’t like it. Eww it feels bad!”

Jesse: “Ok fine, geez”

*silence for a moment*

Me: “Can I blog this?”

Jesse: “Yeah…But wait won’t that be weird since it’s talking about me not wearing a shirt?”

Me: “No, everybody knows boys don’t sleep with shirts on!! I am totally blogging this.”